Nine Straight Threes' NFL Power Rankings: Week 5
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Welcome again to the Nine Straight Threes NFL Power Rankings. Week 5 is in the books, and it was a strange one. Sunday was likely the longest day in league history, lasting about 15-and-a-half hours from a 9:30 a.m. Eastern kickoff in London, to a 1 a.m. final play in Pittsburgh.
The results ranged from predictable – Cincinnati and Baltimore played a barnburner, while Miami and New England played…something – to shocking, with the Cardinals rallying to stun the 49ers, and the Giants handling the Seahawks in Seattle.
Robert Saleh suffered the most predictable loss in history in his power struggle with Aaron Rodgers. Jacksonville might have saved Doug Pederson’s job, at least for now, and the Jayden Daniels Show was again must-see TV. Minnesota is still undefeated, and so is Kansas City, but neither of those teams is number one. Oh, and offense made a comeback this week. Will it last?
As always, these power rankings take two factors into account: Performance and watchability. Away we go.
32. New England Patriots (1-4)
LW: 32
CHRIS MUELLER, TYPING AT 9:15 P.M. MONDAY NIGHT: Our cellar dwellers stay right where they are, and right where they’ll be for the foreseeable future. Note to Jerod Mayo: Don’t do it. Don’t give in. The only good thing about your season is that you haven’t given in and installed Drake Maye as your starter. Stay strong. The Pats are so bad that they managed to get beat by Miami despite running for 151 yards and 7.9 yards per carry. Twelve penalties for 105 yards will blunt most winning efforts, to be fair. On the plus side, Rhamondre Stevenson didn’t fumble yesterday. Small victories!
CHRIS MUELLER, TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Ah well, nevertheless.
Week 6: vs. Houston
31. Cleveland Browns (1-4)
LW: 29
Kevin Stefanski was, quite understandably, asked about whether or not he would consider a change at quarterback. He quickly replied that he was not. I would like to inject Stefanski with truth serum and ask him about Deshaun Watson and Jimmy Haslam. I bet we would get some very interesting answers about both. The Watson contract, by the way, is going to be tough to top as the worst in league history. He has a strong case for worst quarterback currently starting in the NFL. Two hundred thirty million dollars doesn’t buy what it used to.
Week 6: at Philadelphia